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A tall tale of Greer -- A sailor's story
    I served during the war on the Willard A. Holbrook where Richard Ney was
    serving.  He was a Lieutenant Junior Grade like me.

    I had met him a few times and he and I seemed to get along pretty well.
    I think this was because I didn't rib him with rude comments about his
    famous wife like the others did.  And I had helped him a few times
    getting his stuff on board after shore leaves, because he had a lot
    more stuff to carry than most of us did.

    Anyway, one time when one of his shore leaves was over, Ney pulls up to
    the ship in a limousine and then he and Greer Garson get out.  The ship
    is almost listing because every single crewman is hanging over starboard
    gawking at her.  And standing beside the limo is none other than the
    Captain himself, ready to greet her.  He starts escorting her onto the
    ship as if she's going to be making an inspection, so I figure this is
    the right time to be Ney's good buddy again.  I manage to manoeuvre
    myself over to the gangplank and offer to help Ney with his stuff, and
    he recognizes me and hands me his val-pack.

    Well, Ney doesn't go to his quarters.  He just follows his wife as she
    and the Captain tour the ship and I'm sure not going anywhere,
    that's for sure.  I'm right there beside Ney all the way, staring at the
    back of Greer Garson's head the whole time and watching whenever she
    turns her head.  The Captain gives me a couple of looks as if to say,
    "Don't you have somewhere else to be, Lieutenant?" but I pretend
    not to see him and I try to look useful as I struggle with Ney's
    val-pack with both hands, pretending that it's heavier than usual.

    I never thought I'd ever get this close to a famous actress's face, and
    it's Greer Garson no less.  She of course looked like a goddess.  Not a
    flaw.  I'm just walking along behind her, mesmerized by her voice and
    asking myself how did that young Ney manage to get his hands on a
    woman like this.

    I wasn't even listening to the words she was saying either, just the
    sound of her voice, when the Captain suddenly looks at me and asks,
    "Lieutenant, were you involved in that refit last month?"  I can see in
    the corner of my eye that Greer Garson is looking right at me waiting
    for an answer, but I'm too terrified to look in her direction.

    I manage to blurt a dutiful "Yessir."

    Then Greer Garson asks me, "Do you use Worthington pumps?"

    My jaw just drops, because just last month we had the new Worthington
    pumps installed, and here is Greer Garson asking me about Worthington
    pumps no less.  I had seen in a magazine that she's well-read, but
    Worthington pumps?  I can see Ney standing there with a big grin on his
    face and I know the bugger is enjoying this as I barely manage a "Yes,

    I used to consider myself a bit of a lady's man, but in the presence of
    Greer Garson it's hard to think on your feet.  I'm just glad I had gone
    to the latrine a few minutes before she came aboard.

    A few years later, when Ney got divorced from her, I have to admit that
    I felt a bit superior knowing that he was in fact a mere mortal like the
    rest of us and couldn't hang on to a woman like that.  But I also felt
    like I had lost a genuine connection to the most beautiful actress I've
    ever seen.